Nuances of an Apology

He said he was sorry.

Like that was supposed to fix something.

Like the word was a band aid in search of a blister to be nice to.

Like he didn’t really do anything he’s not happy with, but he’s saying sorry just in case she decided to hold a grudge.

It’s amazing how easy it is for him to lead her on, lie to her, take her heart out and do the kpanlogo on it, hurt her then turn around and say sorry.

As though that kind of apology justifies everything before, during and after.

He spits it out like a 5 year old would, to food his mother has forced him to eat once she turns her back.

She wished hard that this apology would and could actually change something.

She wished that his sorry would wipe away all the lies he told her.

She prayed to God that it could rid her nose of his scent and her body of his touch.

She still feels violated. Giving some of her to a man who could not keep a 10th of her.

A boy who got so tired of his toys, he started to play games with her heart.

The sight of him anywhere around led to a dull thump in her heart.

He said sorry.

Let this apology give her amnesia.

Let her know pain no more because oh, how his words could seduce!

He said sorry.

Maybe it should end there.

She would not cry. She would not give importance to this insignificant piece of humanity who feels emotions are play things.

Because she’s a hard girl

And hard girls only cry for the things they lost that meant the world to them.

They do not cry over boys in the bodies of men.

Even when they say sorry.

Definitely not.

 

*Kpanlogo – a musical and recreational dance by the Ga’s of Ghana with emphasis on hand and feet movements.

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